I hate weighing myself.

[missmiah]

Yesterday I did something that I swore that I would never, ever, ever in a million years do ... I brought a scale into the house.

It is no secret that I have food issues. I'm a comfort eater (I know, huge shocker, right?) and I know it, but I am also aware that if I start analyzing the food that goes into my mouth in more than a half-arsed "oh, yeah, diabetic so veggies good, carbs bad, protein ok, lets try to avoid having flat out sugar every single day" way then I will start obsessing about calories and carb conversions and then I'll get self conscious about eating in front of people and it will be a repeat of that year in college where I didn't eat a single meal in front of another person and ended up taking every single meal home in a to-go box when I went out with friends.

Yeah ... I freely admit I'm neurotic.

Anyway, I am fat and I know that and I don't particularly feel the need to know the exact amount of fat that I am in poundage thanks, the general gist is enough for me. I knew I was losing weight because my pants needed a belt and I couldn't wear my wedding ring to bed anymore because it kept falling off. Again, didn't need to know the exact weight loss, didn't care. Weight coming off equals good for health reasons and also for getting annoying doctor off my back so that was good enough for me.

However, it turns out that you're supposed to monitor your weight super close during a pregnancy (or so I've been lead to believe) and those weekly (and sometimes twice weekly) weigh-ins at the hospital have started to take their insidious toll upon my psyche and suddenly I'm keeping track of weight loss and gain in the tenths of a pound increments and that annoys the hell out of me because now I have to stare at everything on my plate and think "Is this too carby? Will I get enough vitamins for the kid? Am I getting enough calories? Should I eat this piece of whole wheat bread because bread is a carb and carbs are bad but also the baby needs whole wheaty things and screw it all I want a Swiss Cake Roll."

Do not even get me started on the fiasco that was my last discussion with my OB in which she added "if you think you're going to have a heavier or carb filled meal, just inject some more insulin" to the list of CAN THIS GET ANY MORE CONFUSING?

So, that's why there's an evil scale in my bathroom that I already hate and that seems to be insisting that I weight five pounds more than I did last week at the doctor's office (which was about four pounds more than a week and a half before that, but I keep telling myself that my thick soled heavy sandals are at least three pounds of that, damnit), which wouldn't be so bad if I could just see it as a number that means nothing on its own and is only to be used to gauge losses and gains. Except the scale lies to me and keeps changing its mind by a few pounds every time I step on it, so I have no idea if I'm going up or down or staying even, and I'm seriously considering tossing it in the trash after only a day.

In happier news, there are now Swiss Cake Rolls in the house.

In less happy news, my thighs are covered in red marks and bruises that are mostly faded to yellow thanks to my insulin shots. Also, the kid is still dead set on its campaign to cripple me and has upped the ante to include making it nearly impossible to sit through a two and a half hour movie and still be able to stand up after and setting my thigh muscles on fire randomly as I sleep.

I am pretty sure I'm going to give birth to some slightly milder version of Rosemary's baby.

Tenth wedding anniversary is coming up in a few short weeks, and then near the end of July I am planning to make my first plane trip since high school to head back to Kansas for a week to visit friends and family (if everything works out, still in the planning stages of that one). Also, I have a fic that is SUPER overdue, and I need to decide if I'm going to sign up for the sshg_exchange, which I really want to do but I'm also looking at the next few months of my life and wondering how much time I'll have to write between doctors visits and homicidal fetus attacks and insulin issues. I've got until the 21st (I think) to decide, so I've got a few days still before I have to commit one way or the other.

Comments

[greek-jester.livejournal.com]

If it's any help re: the weighing thing - how often do you have to weigh yourself? 'cos hormones can make your weight fluctuate by a few pounds, regardless of anything else, through the month.

The best advice I heard was weigh yourself no more than once a week, before breakfast, after you've been to the loo while in your underwear. That removes as many variables as possible; if you're wearing (for instance) a heavy bathrobe, it can make a difference.

Also, you're pregnant. If you're dropping weight, you're doing it wrong. So technically, any weight gain is a win *\o/*

[missmiah.livejournal.com]

Apparently losing weight in the first trimester is totally normal. Also, since I'm fat to begin with, they only want me to gain ten pounds or so total for the entire pregnancy, but I don't know if that means going off of pre-pregnancy weight or the lower weight that happens due to morning sickness, etc.

Technically I only have to weigh myself at my doctor's appointments, but since this is a high risk pregnancy, I have a lot of those. I used to be completely content with only being weighed two or three times a year at my normal doctor's visits.

[scatteredlogic.livejournal.com]

Except the scale lies to me and keeps changing its mind by a few pounds every time I step on it, so I have no idea if I'm going up or down or staying even, and I'm seriously considering tossing it in the trash after only a day.

Your weight is going to fluctuate by several pounds (as much as five, I believe, is the average) due to water loss and retention, depending on the time of day and how much you've had to drink. I suspect that's a lot of what you're seeing.

I am pretty sure I'm going to give birth to some slightly milder version of Rosemary's baby.

LOL - I don't have kids, so while I can try to empathize, I'll never fully understand, but that did make me laugh out loud.

[missmiah.livejournal.com]

A pound or two difference between checking in the morning and checking after lunch I understand (yay for food), but this scale gave me five different readings over a range of four pounds in a matter of ten minutes when Captain and I were trying it out to see if we could figure out how to recalibrate it (it told Captain he was nearly fourteen pounds heavier than he was the last time he was weighed at work, which seems a bit off).

I just don't like it. It's an evil scale and it deserves to be punished, I'm pretty sure.

[scatteredlogic.livejournal.com]

Wow, with that much difference and so many differences in such a little time, there's definitely something wrong with it. ~nods~

[missmiah.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I could live with it saying I was five or ten pounds heavier than I thought as long as it was consistentish about it, but from one minute to the next there shouldn't be a huge difference.

I hope exchange sign-ups are going well, and you guys are getting lots of people wanting to make gifties.

[scatteredlogic.livejournal.com]

The sign-ups are going very well. We're at 108 who've signed up so far, which is a bit more active than I'd thought it would be, but that just shows what I know.

If you feel like playing, we'd love to have you sign up, but we'll understand if you want to sit this round out. I mean, it's not as if you don't have anything else going on. ;P

[beeform]

I've heard that with some digital scales, you should wait at least a few minutes between tries (weight variation with digital scales when trying to take multiple measurements is a common complaint on WW message boards). I don't know why it should make a difference, but...

[kauricat.livejournal.com]

Kind of loving your new tag. But then, what else could we expect from Darned Child?

Seriously, I'm sorry it's so hurty and that eating is so stressful. :(

Did you get a digital scale? Because I'm thinking of getting one and I'm interested in your opinion, if that's what you've got.

[missmiah.livejournal.com]

It is digital. We splurged an spent an extra ten bucks for the readout instead of the dial. As far as ease of use, pretty easy. Ours just seems to be possessed, apparently. If you're going to get one, spend the money for a good one. Do not get one of the twenty dollar ones from Wal-Mart, they are evil and lie and are also easily confused. Sometimes ours likes to pretend one of us is bigger than the 350 pound weight limit and it gives us the "OMG TOO BIG" error message.

We're not.

Thank you Re: Demon Spawn. He (I'm assuming it's a he based on absolutely no scientific data whatsoever) really does seem to be doing his best to be as annoying as physically possible while trapped in his uterus prison. I keep explaining that killing/crippling me early will do him no good, but I don't think he's listening.

[devsgma.livejournal.com]

I am pretty sure I'm going to give birth to some slightly milder version of Rosemary's baby.

Naw, that already happened, don't you know? They named her Melissa. ;)

Seriously, did you move the scale around on the floor at all when you were doing the different weigh-ins? I know if ours gets moved even a few inches it throws the danged thing off. Since Tif has to watch her weight extremely closely to make sure she's not retaining water, we have a taped spot on the floor where it has to be returned to when it gets moved for cleaning purposes, etc.