Actual conversations my husband has to endure...

[missmiah]

Upon pulling into the driveway after a tremendously disappointing dinner at Chili's that I will not get into, I spy...

Me: "Is that a rat?"

Captain: "It's a mouse."

M: "That's not a mouse, the cats have brought me mice before. That's a rat."

C: "It's a big mouse."

M: "It probably has rabies. It's a rat with rabies."

C: "If it had rabies, it wouldn't have run away."

M: "It's a smart rat, luring us into a false sense of security. With rabies. And it's a zombie. It's a zombie rat with rabies."

C: "It's a mouse."

M: "And it's probably going to have babies under our porch. Zombie rat babies, with rabies."

C: "Mouse."

M: "Then it will drown and I'll find a zombie rat with rabies corpse in a puddle."

C: Sigh.