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Checked in for my outpatient procedure at eight this morning. Was released to the care of the Captain at ten.
Have no memory from the moment Roger the RN injected something into my IV and said it was time to go to sleep and that when I woke up the procedure would be over - my reply? "oh goody" - until I woke up blind and queasy back in the exam room with Captain. Who promptly gave me back my glasses. Which was good because I really needed to be able to see once I started vomiting.
Oopsy.
My arm is a pincushion. I can see the knots under my skin where the nurse tried to insert the IV before giving up and moving to another part of my arm. Unfortunately, by the time they're trying to hook you up for the happy sleepy drugs, it's a little bit too late to start saying "Oh, no, no more tries, you lose, I'm leaving now." Although I was tempted.
The other arm is bruised from the blood pressure cuff. And my nose feels a bit odd from the oxygen line, but other than that I came out just fine.
Even got some crackers and a bottle of water as they wheeled me to the car.
All they could tell me today was that there was some hemorrhoids and I need to go on a high fiber diet for awhile, and I'd have to wait until my appointment next week to find out about the "mysterious spots" that were biopsied. "Mysterious spots" sounds way more ominous than I'd prefer, you know?
All in all, other than feeling sorry for the poor male nurse I puked on and then used the toilet in front of (sorry, you try holding it in when your body decides it's going to purge everything OMG RIGHT NOW and you can't even make your legs work well enough to get to the toilet under your own power and have to have someone walk you there holding the IV for you cause you're too busy cradling a barf bag and trying to hold your hospital gown shut so the whole world won't see your pale, pale arse) and my poor arm, I don't think it went too badly. Not that I ever want to do it again. Ever.
Have no memory from the moment Roger the RN injected something into my IV and said it was time to go to sleep and that when I woke up the procedure would be over - my reply? "oh goody" - until I woke up blind and queasy back in the exam room with Captain. Who promptly gave me back my glasses. Which was good because I really needed to be able to see once I started vomiting.
Oopsy.
My arm is a pincushion. I can see the knots under my skin where the nurse tried to insert the IV before giving up and moving to another part of my arm. Unfortunately, by the time they're trying to hook you up for the happy sleepy drugs, it's a little bit too late to start saying "Oh, no, no more tries, you lose, I'm leaving now." Although I was tempted.
The other arm is bruised from the blood pressure cuff. And my nose feels a bit odd from the oxygen line, but other than that I came out just fine.
Even got some crackers and a bottle of water as they wheeled me to the car.
All they could tell me today was that there was some hemorrhoids and I need to go on a high fiber diet for awhile, and I'd have to wait until my appointment next week to find out about the "mysterious spots" that were biopsied. "Mysterious spots" sounds way more ominous than I'd prefer, you know?
All in all, other than feeling sorry for the poor male nurse I puked on and then used the toilet in front of (sorry, you try holding it in when your body decides it's going to purge everything OMG RIGHT NOW and you can't even make your legs work well enough to get to the toilet under your own power and have to have someone walk you there holding the IV for you cause you're too busy cradling a barf bag and trying to hold your hospital gown shut so the whole world won't see your pale, pale arse) and my poor arm, I don't think it went too badly. Not that I ever want to do it again. Ever.
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