Random Oddness

[missmiah]

So I'm standing in the Toilet Paper aisle at the Volde-mart, bitterly complaining to Sarah about the fact that all I want is some normal Charmin - not mega, uber, ultra strong, double wide Charmin, and I want it in a 12 pack not a 24 pack, not a cube, not a bajillion roll box - when this guy pipes up behind me, "Can I help you, ma'am? Do you need help reaching something, or finding something?"

I think "Oh great, employee, maybe he can help me find the damn TP," and I start explaining what I'm looking for as I turn around to find some random guy with a watermelon in his cart giving me puppy dog eyes and a hopeful expression.

And by me, I mean my chest.

Sarah, by the way, is standing next to me and has already begun giggling.

"Yeah, Charmin is a pain like that sometimes. There may be some down on the other end, I could look there?" says Mister Helpful, this time to my face.

"Thanks," I reply, tempted to step on Sarah's foot to stop the giggling, at least until the guy has taken his watermelon and wandered down the aisle. Where he promptly stops to call back to me "They've got a four pack down here!"

Cue polite wave of acknowledgment as I grab a 12 pack of Charmin Basic.

Sarah watches and says "Usually I'm the one getting flirted with. He was hitting on you, you know. And you know why?"

"Boobs."

The moral of the story is - Shove those puppies in a decent bra and a low-cut top... And some guy will fall all over himself to help you get toilet paper.

Comments

[mmyrtle.livejournal.com]

Shove those puppies in an indecent bra and lower-cut top... and lots of guys will fall all over themselves to buy you anything you like.

*nods*

[missmiah.livejournal.com]

I have heard this theory before, and if I didn't have ice cream in the fridge and some brand new bubble bath waiting in the bathroom I might be tempted to dig both out and give it a try, but I'm lazy.

Maybe next weekend I can hang out in the frozen foods aisle and see if I can get some suggestive commentary going over a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

[mmyrtle.livejournal.com]

My Leading Man nearly walked into a brick wall earlier this evening when he was distracted by a young, uh, lady who had dug "both out" and put them On Display.

I laughed.

Hard.

*re-reads your reply*

...

*is distracted*

You have bubble bath? And ice cream???

*walks into brick wall*

...

ow.

;D

[missmiah.livejournal.com]

I do - some Ben and Jerry's AND some brand new bath bombs and bubble bath. Plus, a new book to read.

I shall have the bestest bath time ever!

[beeform]

LOL! :-)