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Overheard that at the PX today. Honestly, I really didn't want to know.
Tuesday my diabetes doc's office managed to catch me half asleep and got me to agree to come in for a fasting blood draw today and an appt. to get yelled at tomorrow. I still think if I'd been awake I would have figured out how to get out of it.
So last night around ten I remember I was supposed to be fasting so that bumped my going in for the pokey time back from the usual 8 am to sometime in the middle of the day. I got there around 11:30, all fasted up, head pounding from lack of caffeine AND the tension I always get before the needles come out.
I waited in line for thirty minutes, got my paperwork and waited in a shorter line for another five minutes and had a lovely conversation with the soldier in front of me. Who proceeded to tell me about the time they were learning how to do field IVs and her partner went through the vein and the medic was all "Watch this, see when you hit the vein there is a blood spurt but when you go through there is nothing" and then proceeded to pull the needle in and out of the vein to demonstrate. Until the soldier snapped and was all "THAT'S MY ARM!" Then the baby - less than a year old - with three labbies standing around her finally got poked and the screaming began.
By the time I was sent to a chair I was already green.
Someone came in after me and requested a certain labbie who was about to start on me and I very politely said, "Please, go ahead, I can wait, I'm totally fine with waiting." They looked at me funny but he went to take care of her and I waited. Eventually it was down to me and the soldier who kept giving me sympathetic looks as her blood was drawn. Labbie number one comes by, takes one look at me and says "We'll wait for Tyler." I'm all "Whatever, do you have a bucket? Just in case?"
I think that's the real reason they make me fast. Sure there is that whole nasty blood glucose thing, but really it's so I don't ralph breakfast all over their sanitary blood drawing area.
So I wait for Tyler, or whoever the guy is who actually gets stuck doing the queasy chicks needle poke. We got through the standard "Have you ever passed out?" "Sort of once, but dizzy is very common." "Are you going to be sick?" "Quite possibly." "Do you have a preference?" "One jab and over quickly, thank you."
There was much cutting off of my circulation, poking with the finger, squeezing of the stress ball, wiping down of the arm, deciding that's not going to work so we turn the arm on its side and start again... eventually Tyler has located the vein he's going to make his first attempt on.
*Poke* Fuckingasswankingbuggershithellcrappoo that hurt a LOT, I think but I bite my lip and squeeze the crud out of the stress ball and don't say anything. Tyler is quiet. Too quiet.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." "You MISSED?" All that poking and repositioning and prodding and he MISSED?
Normally this is when I say "Bye, see ya" but I have an appt. to get yelled at tomorrow and if there isn't blood work the yelling will be much worse and I've been fasting and I'm already strapped into the stupid chair and he seemed sad about missing... so I let him try the other arm.
"You seem to be fidgeting, ma'am." "I'm doing my best not to." I can see my arms shaking and by this point my vision is yellow and there isn't anyplace I can look that doesn't have blood or a needle or blood AND a needle or a needle and my arm.
The soldier stops on her way out to wish me luck.
Three minutes later the second attempt goes in and it stings so very much bad but blood is coming out so I bite my lip and try very hard not to flinch because he's got to get two vials out of this and there is no way I'm going to sit still for a third go.
We're both apologizing by the time I leave. Sadly, this was actually one of the better blood draw experiences I've had at this hospital.
Tuesday my diabetes doc's office managed to catch me half asleep and got me to agree to come in for a fasting blood draw today and an appt. to get yelled at tomorrow. I still think if I'd been awake I would have figured out how to get out of it.
So last night around ten I remember I was supposed to be fasting so that bumped my going in for the pokey time back from the usual 8 am to sometime in the middle of the day. I got there around 11:30, all fasted up, head pounding from lack of caffeine AND the tension I always get before the needles come out.
I waited in line for thirty minutes, got my paperwork and waited in a shorter line for another five minutes and had a lovely conversation with the soldier in front of me. Who proceeded to tell me about the time they were learning how to do field IVs and her partner went through the vein and the medic was all "Watch this, see when you hit the vein there is a blood spurt but when you go through there is nothing" and then proceeded to pull the needle in and out of the vein to demonstrate. Until the soldier snapped and was all "THAT'S MY ARM!" Then the baby - less than a year old - with three labbies standing around her finally got poked and the screaming began.
By the time I was sent to a chair I was already green.
Someone came in after me and requested a certain labbie who was about to start on me and I very politely said, "Please, go ahead, I can wait, I'm totally fine with waiting." They looked at me funny but he went to take care of her and I waited. Eventually it was down to me and the soldier who kept giving me sympathetic looks as her blood was drawn. Labbie number one comes by, takes one look at me and says "We'll wait for Tyler." I'm all "Whatever, do you have a bucket? Just in case?"
I think that's the real reason they make me fast. Sure there is that whole nasty blood glucose thing, but really it's so I don't ralph breakfast all over their sanitary blood drawing area.
So I wait for Tyler, or whoever the guy is who actually gets stuck doing the queasy chicks needle poke. We got through the standard "Have you ever passed out?" "Sort of once, but dizzy is very common." "Are you going to be sick?" "Quite possibly." "Do you have a preference?" "One jab and over quickly, thank you."
There was much cutting off of my circulation, poking with the finger, squeezing of the stress ball, wiping down of the arm, deciding that's not going to work so we turn the arm on its side and start again... eventually Tyler has located the vein he's going to make his first attempt on.
*Poke* Fuckingasswankingbuggershithellcrappoo that hurt a LOT, I think but I bite my lip and squeeze the crud out of the stress ball and don't say anything. Tyler is quiet. Too quiet.
"I'm sorry, ma'am." "You MISSED?" All that poking and repositioning and prodding and he MISSED?
Normally this is when I say "Bye, see ya" but I have an appt. to get yelled at tomorrow and if there isn't blood work the yelling will be much worse and I've been fasting and I'm already strapped into the stupid chair and he seemed sad about missing... so I let him try the other arm.
"You seem to be fidgeting, ma'am." "I'm doing my best not to." I can see my arms shaking and by this point my vision is yellow and there isn't anyplace I can look that doesn't have blood or a needle or blood AND a needle or a needle and my arm.
The soldier stops on her way out to wish me luck.
Three minutes later the second attempt goes in and it stings so very much bad but blood is coming out so I bite my lip and try very hard not to flinch because he's got to get two vials out of this and there is no way I'm going to sit still for a third go.
We're both apologizing by the time I leave. Sadly, this was actually one of the better blood draw experiences I've had at this hospital.
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I just had to use this icon.
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sorry you had to go to the doctor...
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Cause