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Dear Mr Creepy,
I know I was sitting at my desk in front of a window with open blinds, when you sloooowwwwlllyyy drove your van down the road in front of my house, and that you saw that I was home.
I saw you park across the street from me, grab your piles of crap and head toward my house.
You even stopped to pick up the junk paper full of coupons that annoying ass in the truck throws at the bottom of my drive every week, and moved it to the side of my yard near the mail box for some reason. First of all, don't do that, it's creepy. Second of all, nope that's all I got, just don't pick up other people's mail, junk or not, it's creepy.
So, knowing that you were determined, I went and put on a sweater and some shoes and met you at my front door - you know, the one with the big "NO SOLICITORS" sign on it - just in case you were here to tell me something important.
But no, you just wanted to sell me an alarm system.
BTW, my dog - who is a kibble fueled alarm system all by himself - hates you.
Please to not be trolling down my street again, you made me close my blinds and lose the natural light (very important for playing with Legos, btw) because you were creepy.
Also, I couldn't help but suspect you of trying to case my house, which is why I did not let you in.
Miah
P.S. I am sick now, and I hope you caught whatever I was incubating and that you end up stuck on the bathroom floor vomiting for hours and hours.
I know I was sitting at my desk in front of a window with open blinds, when you sloooowwwwlllyyy drove your van down the road in front of my house, and that you saw that I was home.
I saw you park across the street from me, grab your piles of crap and head toward my house.
You even stopped to pick up the junk paper full of coupons that annoying ass in the truck throws at the bottom of my drive every week, and moved it to the side of my yard near the mail box for some reason. First of all, don't do that, it's creepy. Second of all, nope that's all I got, just don't pick up other people's mail, junk or not, it's creepy.
So, knowing that you were determined, I went and put on a sweater and some shoes and met you at my front door - you know, the one with the big "NO SOLICITORS" sign on it - just in case you were here to tell me something important.
But no, you just wanted to sell me an alarm system.
BTW, my dog - who is a kibble fueled alarm system all by himself - hates you.
Please to not be trolling down my street again, you made me close my blinds and lose the natural light (very important for playing with Legos, btw) because you were creepy.
Also, I couldn't help but suspect you of trying to case my house, which is why I did not let you in.
Miah
P.S. I am sick now, and I hope you caught whatever I was incubating and that you end up stuck on the bathroom floor vomiting for hours and hours.
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