What is it that you do do, dear?

More than once over the last few years someone has asked about my occupation.

What is it that I actually do?

I used to shuffle my feet and wave my hand and mumbled something about currently being unemployed, after all, it's not as if I can just say "I write stories about other people's fictional characters and paint lawn gnomes, while spending my husband's hard earned pay on toys and cheese".

Then I settled for "I'm a housewife", which almost always earned me looks of pity/contempt/horror. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife, I suspect. Not that I'm very good at it. Nor do I particularly want to be any good at it. I hate cooking, I'm far too anal about cleaning, and I have no spawn to care for.

Recently, I've moved on to "I'm a military spouse", which implies there may be other things I do, but that I feel being married to the Army is my first and foremost concern. Which is a lie, of course, but people tend to react better to it than the plain old housewife version. I know there is more to me than my relationship to my husband, but, again, no one wants to hear about what I really do with my life, and in this day and age you're really expected to be able to sum up "what you do" in a smattering of words.

Therefore, I have decided that from now on I shall tell anyone who asks that "I'm a trophy wife".

I think it sums up the spoiled rotten nature of my existence, while producing a hint of mystery as the other person wonders just what it is that I bring to the table to qualify me for such a title. Not cleaning or cooking, one would assume, as trophy wives are rarely asked to sully themselves with things like housework or kitchen utensils.

Miss Miah - Trophy Wife.

I'm thinking about getting business cards made.

What is it that you do do, dear?

More than once over the last few years someone has asked about my occupation.

What is it that I actually do?

I used to shuffle my feet and wave my hand and mumbled something about currently being unemployed, after all, it's not as if I can just say "I write stories about other people's fictional characters and paint lawn gnomes, while spending my husband's hard earned pay on toys and cheese".

Then I settled for "I'm a housewife", which almost always earned me looks of pity/contempt/horror. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife, I suspect. Not that I'm very good at it. Nor do I particularly want to be any good at it. I hate cooking, I'm far too anal about cleaning, and I have no spawn to care for.

Recently, I've moved on to "I'm a military spouse", which implies there may be other things I do, but that I feel being married to the Army is my first and foremost concern. Which is a lie, of course, but people tend to react better to it than the plain old housewife version. I know there is more to me than my relationship to my husband, but, again, no one wants to hear about what I really do with my life, and in this day and age you're really expected to be able to sum up "what you do" in a smattering of words.

Therefore, I have decided that from now on I shall tell anyone who asks that "I'm a trophy wife".

I think it sums up the spoiled rotten nature of my existence, while producing a hint of mystery as the other person wonders just what it is that I bring to the table to qualify me for such a title. Not cleaning or cooking, one would assume, as trophy wives are rarely asked to sully themselves with things like housework or kitchen utensils.

Miss Miah - Trophy Wife.

I'm thinking about getting business cards made.