Volde-Mart, Doggy baths and Archnids, oh my

[missmiah]

At six am yesterday I decided the dog needed a bath. As I do.

So I cleaned out his tub/doggie bed (he likes the bathtub, it's his "safe" place as long as it's dry), cleared the bathroom floor of anything that couldn't be soaked in wet dog juice and stripped down to a bathing suit because bath time is really an interactive thing. Colonel Brandon is learning to over come his fear of the ebil shower curtain which is what I had been using to keep him contained up until now. (He's okay with it as long as there's at least an opening he can peek around, close it up and he used to just sort of stand there in the water going "Oh, dang. Now I'm screwed.") So, cleaned the dog, got dressed and took him outside so I could then clean the bathroom because something in his room smelled baaaddd. I've scrubbed that place top to bottom and still have not found the source, btw. I washed all his toys, his towel and his pillow.

Then I decided the floor needed to be mopped rather than just using wet Swifter like normal so I went out to the garage and found the mop.

And the ginormous spider carcass that was decomposing underneath it. At least, I hope it was a carcass and not just an exoskeleton because if that thing had shed and is still creeping around my house I am seriously going to vomit. The body - not the legs, just thorax and abdomen and head and all that yucky stuff - was a good two inches long. Hunter spider, slightly furry, dark brown. Couldn't check its back for markings because that would have required touching it in some way and I had a difficult enough time scooping it into the dust pan and flushing the bastard (or bitch, could have been female, I don't know). The rest of the morning was spent poking suspiciously at things with whatever was handy to make sure nothing fanged and eight-legged was going to leap out at me as I finished cleaning the bathroom and fed the animals.

After that I went by the PXtra to look for some furniture because there was a "sale" and we need something besides the emergency back-up loveseat we bought off rewil oh those many years ago (Loki the cat ate my couch before the move out here, I'm still bitter). Found a denim sofa/loveseat/chair/ottoman set for what will probably be huge amounts of money I don't have. I know we could swing the sofa ($699, no tax, free shipping) and I'd like at least a chair to go with it. However, it's denim. Light blue denim. I'd really like to know what the husband would think of that before I just go ahead and max out the Star card, you know? Sale ends tomorrow.

Then it was off to Volde-Mart because I was literally out of food. Talked to perkygothess for most of the shopping trip, trying to catch her up on some plottage on __lightning__ and bw_afterglow. Yes, that means I was wandering around Volde-Mart on no sleep (having stayed up all night before), with the attention span of an overly-caffeinated ferret, trying to explain Harry Potter RP plottage to someone over the phone AND finish my grocery shopping. Yes, I got many, many strange looks. No, I do not care.

I finally hung up and suddenly it was much easier to remember what I was looking for and I realized that I really, really needed to go home and get some sleep and possibly eat something.

Bought my groceries without incident and had high hopes for escaping without any random friendly conversation attempts (I think perhaps the Harry Potter gossip might have discourage people today) when I had to pause at the door to have my receipt checked by the door guy. And, apparently, the assistant door guy who fancies himself a humorist.

"I bet you really know how to cook, look at all that microwavable stuff. Pizza rolls, outstanding, your husband must be a happy man."

ANNNNDDD I snapped.

I snatched my receipt back and tucked it into my purse, offering the Nosey Bastard a friendly, innocent smile. "Oh, I don't have to cook, I'm great in bed. Have a good day."

So - yes, not going back to THAT particular Volde-Mart for awhile.