missmiah: (Miah)
([personal profile] missmiah May. 12th, 2015 03:25 pm)
Demon Spawn's usual speech therapist brought in another therapist for a second opinion because Demon Spawn hasn't been progressing as well as we'd hoped. He's actually regressed a bit. For every new thing he learns, he stops doing something else.

The second therapist used the words brain damage as a possible explanation once she heard about the circumstances around his birth.

My baby is a smart boy. He's just got a speech delay.

And my heart is breaking because I can't help think that it's my fault. If I'd pushed harder for a Cesarian instead of letting the doctor's force me to labor down for so long, if I'd pushed for the doctor to listen to me at his first appointment when I had concerns about his jaundice instead of being put off for another day, if I'd switched to formula faster instead of listening to the lactation consultant who kept insisting I needed to keep trying to breast feed even though my milk hadn't come in.

There are so many things I should have done and now I can't help but feel that I've failed him. I should have been able to protect him better.

From: [identity profile] shiv5468.livejournal.com

That's not definite though is it?

I'm sure you did the best you could. You're not an expert, the doctors are supposed to be so of course you listen to their advice


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